At Work

Note to the critics of business, corporations and CEOs

Tips on starting and running a business

🤞Take all your savings, borrow a considerable amount more and start a business.

😱 Locate it not in the optimal place to do business efficiently, but where social convention dictates

🤑 Pay your workers not what you can afford in order to make a fair profit and retain and assure workers remain productive, but instead pay them what government decides is fair

🤗 When you finally reach profitability don’t reinvest most of the profits in your business and pay down debt, but share the majority with your workers

🤓Avoid remaining competitive by refusing to adopt the latest technology

🥳 Allow your workers to decide equally with you how best to run your business

💰 As your business grows, if it does, and you decide to expand and go public, make sure your investors (shareholders) understand that your first priority is not a return on their risk investment, but paying your workers above market wages

🤔 When you issue shares of stock in your business do not retain the majority controlling shares and seek to profit from growth in their value, your didn’t earn it.

😢 Do not pay yourself more than 30 times what your average worker earns, so if you pay your workers $15.00 an hour, your pay stops at $936,000 regardless of the number of hours worked, risk or effort. Nothing matters except fair and equal. Feel free to raise worker pay so they can earn more regardless of what that may do to your businesses competitiveness.

There you have it, the new rules for business in America. Have at it if you want to reap the rewards of being an entrepreneur.

Don’t forget to lock the door when you finally go out of business. 😢

Categories: At Work, My Opinion

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3 replies »

  1. Cowabunga!

    I do believe that between Mike, Dwayne and Richard here, we have a rich crop of applicants for future Labor and Commerce Secretariats under a Biden/Warren/Sanders Triumvirate POTUS Administration!

    (Heh, heh. – Thanks for providing my morning chuckle guys.)

    Like

  2. Don’t forget to give your workers the cadillac health plans, fully funded generous pensions plus a 401k, 6 month of paid family leave, a holiday once a week, flex hours, and unlimited sick time too. Invest in a crystal ball that ensures that your best practices of today will not hurt the environment tomorrow.

    One more thing, everybody starts out with the title and pay of vice president and a large window office. I am not sure who actually does the work, but that is what everybody wants to be just given to them.

    Like

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